So y’all its Thanksgiving in the states!!! And although I am more than 7,000 miles away and eating noodles for my “Thanksgiving dinner” I can still get with the notion of being thankful. They say being in a state of gratitude just brings more blessings. And my days of blocking them, or not accepting them are over, okay?!?!?! Okay!!
So here are some things I’m so very thankful for this year:
- Being Away – that sounds harsh, I know. But hear me out. Waking up everyday and realizing that I am living in a different country, and still able to function with all the crazy things China throws at me is the best feeling. I am so happy and thankful that I didn’t let fear get in the way and cause me to continue to live a life that to be honest wasn’t for me in the first place
- Having More Good Days than Bad – having a chronic illness is hard, like…. really hard. So having more good days than bad is a constant blessing. Having only half bad days of not being able to walk or in a constant 10 level pain and still trying to function like a “normal” person Is fucking amazing.
- Getting Out of a Funk – I got sick right after coming back from my trip home. I started a new job where I’m with
germ incubatorschildren, all day everyday. And while its great because I don’t have stress and am reliving kindergarten, there are other factors like having a chronic illness and being around 5 year olds that I swear breed GERMS that I have to accept. So… I got sick- like really sick, well… more like I ignored a cough and that cough turned into a respiratory infection. oops! It took a little over a monthmonth and a half to get over. But what came with the infection was the blues. Not the oh I’m a little sad blues. No, like the why am I here and doing anything type of blues. I would like to say that this was the first time this happened this year, but it’s not, and although I’ve been able to get out of it thankfully, it’s made me re-think some things and take some action and for that I am thankful.
- Getting Back into a Groove– Like I said I was sick and in a really bad mental space so the last thing I was focused on was writing/creating – well, I tried and I basically stared at a blinking cursor for hours so… there’s that. Honestly I couldn’t focus on anything, even having a conversation was difficult. So now I feel like I’m back. Maybe not 100% back but at least 70% and you know what, I’ll take it.
- Setting Boundaries – Listen, I’ll be the first and have repeatedly admitted that my energy is more a “How can I help you?” then a “Hello!” And it’s not because I hate people, its just because with the amount of things I deal with on a daily basis is enough to make a sane person crazy- my fellow spoonies can relate. I felt bad for so long about this, however since having a change of many perspectives a few years ago, it’s caused my energy to be higher, my mind to be less cluttered and my sleep to be better. All things that I NEED to function. So, if you’re entertaining stress and wondering why you feel like butt, assess your situation and promote and demote accordingly. Remember this is your life! Also remember no one is going to take care of you, but you.
- Being Apart of Mind Your Business Ministries – have you heard of Sarah Jakes Roberts? If you haven’t get your life! Listen, being a part of mind your business ministries has been a game changer- Literally if it doesn’t directly affect me- meaning my health or wellbeing, or my family and friends- meaning their health or wellbeing its not my business. If a conversation even starts to be about another person- not my business and I’m not interested. If someone is speaking ill of me- again, not my business and not interested. For more info read #5.
- Family – My family isn’t a close one. We all do our own thing, talk when we talk, and live everywhere around the world. But when something is going down we show up. Since being diagnosed I’ve definitely been in many a situation where things have gotten hairy, and my mother especially has been there to hold my hand, decode insurance policies, doctors notes/suggestions, and even help with my non profit. Literally, I’ve never seen someone slang some socks better than Momma B. She’s not the only one, but she’s been such a rock I’m not sure what I would do without her.
I can go on and on but these are the big things this year. Yes, there are things I wish I could change, things I wish I could do more of. But right now I’m trying to be nicer to myself. Listen to my body, and not try to negotiate with it. Because you know as much as I do that we don’t negotiate with terrorists.
I hope that however you decide to spend this holiday it is wonderful, because you deserve it!